Dear Well Intentioned White Friends: I Am Not OK

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I’d like to talk about connections.   I mean the connections we have with others, and ourselves. As humans, we crave these connections, even if they aren’t personal. We read books, and connect with characters, we watch movies and fantasize about being one of the stars. Being a part of the team, taking no shit, […]

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Mr Nice Guy: Why Nice Isn’t Kind

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 Mr. Nice Guy, that’s me. And it’s a shame, too. Because nice and kind are two different things. And sometimes to be kind, you can’t default to being too nice. Here’s what I mean by that. The difference between nice and kind is that sometimes you want to be nice. You want to go along […]

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Empathy and Otherness

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Both sides of my family are Dutch immigrants who came over to Canada after World War II. Like many immigrants they had to learn a new language and deal with prejudice. Canada’s attitudes towards immigration were different at that time. My Mom sometimes talks about being referred to as a “dirty DP” when she was […]

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Ten Things I Learned From Getting Lean

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I’ve written before about my experiences with bullying. When I started lifting weights it was with the express goal of making myself a physical deterrent to bullying. So I wanted to be big and strong. And that’s the direction I took for many years — eating and training with the goal of size and strength. […]

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Increasing Empathy Takes Time

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I was a bit of a chubby kid. I might be winking in this picture but it’s a bit hard to tell. And kids are total dicks cruel. So I found out about the whole being chubby thing at about age 6. Prior to that I just ran around the farm feeling like a normal […]

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A Lioness in Kansas City: 2013 Ringside World Championships Experience

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The Ringside World Tournament provides competition for the greatest number of amateur Boxers in the world. Within this tournament are the largest Female and Master tournaments in the world. 62 Divisions, 6 rings, 4 days, 7 sessions, over 1,000 bouts, 262 Champions – It’s more than a tournament, it’s a rite of passage. For more […]

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The Fight Network’s Dare to Defend Initiative

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing […]

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